Our 2010 – Triumphant Life

Very quick family update:  Paul resigned from EDS/HP in April after almost 13 years of employment.  He currently works at ACS, Inc (a Xerox company) in downtown Dallas doing similar network security work that he did at HP.  Libby still works for the same company but it’s now known as Anesthesia Care.  This year, she moved into a new position there as an EDI Analyst.  Rocko maintains his same position in our home as the guard dog who barks at shadows.  When he gets very excited, he starts digging for invisible treasure in the carpet.  Late last year, we got a new addition to the family in Adrian the cat.  We are not cat people.  The cat was to serve as Rocko’s playmate (he loves cats).  But Adrian is not as cute and innocent as she looks.  She drives us crazy (esp Paul) and is a bit insane as you will see later in the letter.  Forgive us our indulgences in our pets.  That happens when you don’t have kids.

As many of you know, our year started on a tragic note.  On January 25th, Libby’s dad suffered a heart attack at the age of 59, lapsed into a coma, and never regained consciousness.  He passed away early in the morning on February 3rd with his wife Sandi at his side.  This ordeal in Colorado was chronicled in a previous post that you can read here.

Herb had no prior history of heart problems, so his heart attack and death was an enormous shock.  Coupled with that was the guilt that Libby and I felt because we had not seen him since our wedding.  Libby talked with Herb regularly on the phone, but we just always seemed to be too busy or have other excuses that kept us from making a trip to Colorado to see him.  It took us some time – especially Libby – to get over that guilt and realize that our relationship with Herb was a two way street.  Plus, sometimes tragedy simply strikes, and regret is absent until magnified significantly by those circumstances.

I kept in contact with my dad frequently during our time there and one morning, my dad suggested a Scripture to me that became our foundation during our time there.  It is 1 Corinthians 15:35-55.  As I recently reflected on the past year, I visited this Scripture again…specifically the end of it

At the same moment and in the same way, we’ll all be changed. In the resurrection scheme of things, this has to happen: everything perishable taken off the shelves and replaced by the imperishable, this mortal replaced by the immortal.  Then the saying will come true: Death swallowed by triumphant Life! Who got the last word, oh, Death? Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now? (from The Message)

While preparing for his funeral, there was a lot of laughter from those he left behind.  Even during sadness, his family found those moments of joy.  Those moments carried them through the funeral and into the party afterwards that really was…a party.  Friends and family gathered, ate, drank, and shared tears and laughter while recounting stories of Herb.  Herb was a quiet man until you got to know him, but he had a strong love for life, his family, and Cornhuskers football.  That love definitely shone through as we talked about his life.  Triumphant Life.  Those two words seemed to have formed a thread that has weaved its way through every aspect of our life this year.

In the grieving process, Libby and I both turned to food for comfort.  For several months, our diet completely cratered.  In August, we decided that we’d had enough and needed to get back on that horse.  Plus, we know that Herb would not want us to wallow in our sadness.  We signed up with 24 Hour Fitness, grabbed personal trainers, and have been undergoing grueling exercise ever since.  It has been immensely difficult.  At times, I have felt like I’ve been stuffed into a garbage can while a hockey team beats the $#*! out of it and then rolls it down a hill.  I know Libby has felt the same way (she would phrase it a little differently).  In addition, we have been completely rewiring our eating habits.  Like we did after our gastric bypass years ago, we’ve had to not go on a diet but completely rethink eating.  We’ve learned so much during this time that I wish we’d known after our surgery.  And we are seeing results.  As we fine tune the eating aspect of it, our weight loss has been slow but we are consistently losing inches every month and getting smaller.  Our trainers assure us that soon, the weight loss will take off again like a rocket.  Libby went to South Carolina to go to a Biggest Loser event in September.  She participated in her first 5k and got to see several contestants and Bob.  She loves the show and loved her time there.  Together, we took part in a another 5k walk in Fort Worth on October 9th.  We had a good time and were glad to do it even if it meant that, by the end, I was hallucinating, aching everywhere, and on the verge of soiling myself.  But we push on.  The words of Rocky Balboa have never rung so loud in my head as they are these days: “But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.“  We are reclaiming Triumphant Life.

As many of you know, the reason we went on the 5k wasn’t just for our health.  Libby’s aunt Cindy, her only aunt on her mom’s side, was diagnosed with ALS earlier this year.  This diagnosis came not long after Herb passed away.  She has deteriorated rapidly and is now unable to walk, speak, or feed herself.  The walk on the 9th was in support of ALS and this special lady.  Around the same time, Libby’s grandmother (also on her mom’s side) was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.  We know how these journeys will end.  And it won’t be in death.  It’ll be in Triumphant Life.

One of the many motivating factors in this new lifestyle is our ever present desire for kids.  While losing weight will certainly help in that area, it is still not guaranteed due to medical issues.  The desire to have kids has been strong with us (see Libby’s post about this here).  We have also talked about adoption.  We are not prepared to make an official announcement about that yet but we will make a decision about whether to proceed in 2011.  Libby recently bought a bunch of toys for a gift giving outreach program at church.  They were being stored in our garage.  A few days ago, I came home from running some errands and opened the garage door.  I hadn’t noticed it before but there sat a little boy’s tricycle.  I instantly developed a football in my throat.  This looked like a house where kids lived.  We know that God knows our heart…that we want to take part in that aspect of life.  Triumphant Life.

On November 16th, my grandmother, Jewell Geffert, passed away early in the morning.  She would have been 90 in December.  Her death wasn’t a shock.  But it is still hard to lose someone you’ve known your entire life.  In our 3 years of marriage, Libby and I had made several trips out to East Texas to visit this precious woman.  I am so grateful that Granny got to know Libby.  We so enjoyed our times out there, and we miss not having to schedule a trip anymore.  In discussing her passing my dad said “But, she always lived a sacrificial life.  She gave up the preferences of her own life in order to send her daughters to a Christian school.  She gave of her meager income to her church and to those in need.  Jewell always lived a life just beyond her own desires.  She seemed to understand the wisdom of losing your life to find life.”  Again…Triumphant Life.  Death was swallowed up by it again.

So as we near the end of this year, our hearts feel like one of the many muscles we have been tearing in our workouts.  They are broken, stressed, and weary from the sadness this year.  But that rending has resulted in a stronger heart.  A heart that does not fear death.  A heart that can still laugh at stupid things, feel love, and reach for Triumphant Life.

Love from Wylie, TX
Paul & Libby

Our Favorite Things of the Year

Top 3 Movies

Paul (The movie enthusiast in me has to do more than just list the movie)

1. Inception – Christopher Nolan crafted a film so bold, so daring, and so unique that it doesn’t just transcend but obliterates the often boring genre of “summer blockbuster”.
2. The Social Network – I wasn’t that interested in this film going in, but this procedural about the inception and germination of a cultural phenomenon is so well made, so well written, and immensely engrossing.  A fascinating drama about some really lousy people.
3. Winter’s Bone – Jennifer Lawrence turns in an Oscar-worthy performance as a teenager willing to do anything to keep her family together in the cold, bleak, and dangerous world of meth producers in the Ozarks.

Libby

1. The Town (I like a good robbery/shoot-em-up flick)
2. Due Date (Zach Galifinakis amuses me)
3. Inception (although it did make me think a WHOLE lot!)

Rocko

1. Exit Through the Gift Shop
2. Black Swan
3. Blue Valentine

Adrian

1. The Last Airbender
2. The Crazies
3. Devil

Favorite TV Show

Paul – The Pacific (HBO) – Another spectacular World War II series from Spielberg/Hanks that had me constantly thinking about the scars that both of my grandfathers must have carried with them their whole lives.
Libby – Glee (Fox) – I was one of those nerdy choir kids…..it takes me back to my childhood.
Rocko – Boardwalk Empire (HBO)
Adrian – The Walking Dead (AMC)

Favorite Book

Paul – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson – It’s not Shakespeare, but it is an engrossing mystery.  Not for the faint of heart.
Libby – Umm……the manual to my new MacBook??
Rocko – Decision Points by George W. Bush
Adrian – Cognitive Therapy of Schizophrenia (Guides to Individualized Evidence-Based Treatment) by David G. Kingdon MD and Douglas Turkington MD

Favorite Gadget

Paul – Droid X
Libby – My new MacBook Pro!
Rocko – iPad
Adrian – Lamp

Favorite Android App

Paul – Amazon Kindle reader
Libby – Angry Birds
Rocko – Dog Park Finder
Adrian – Something is in the blinds.

Favorite Restaurant

Paul – Lupe Tortilla in Houston
Libby – Fishmongers
Rocko – Casa de Chinn!  W00t!
Adrian – I see dead people

Favorite Food

Paul – Blueberry Bourbon BBQ sauce (homemade)
Libby – Roasted Garlic Vinaigrette Salad Dressing made by Annie’s (which they seem to have discontinued)
Rocko – Cheetos
Adrian – Sometimes, I sleep in the sink.

Favorite Video Clip

Rocko

Adrian

Paul – If you know me, you know I’m a nice guy.  Really.  But my sense of humor skews a little dark (as you may have already noticed).  This is not really graphic, but your kids will have nightmares.  However, this terrific Yogi Bear spoof of a particular Andrew Dominik film made me unhinge my jaw laughing.  When the artistic and the absurd collide…

Libby – This video is actually 3 1/2 years old but it was kind of rediscovered this year and you can read more about it here.

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